Remember when this was a beauty blog but I thought pencilling in your eyebrows wasn’t always necessary? LOL ME TOO.
I love makeup – honestly, I think I’d die without my heavy-duty foundation. I wear a full face of the stuff every day, with literally zero shame, and walk around looking like Ru Paul on the reg. But sometimes the wacky world of beauty manages to confuse me beyond belief – take a look at the beauty fads I just DON’T GET below…
This one is two-fold, comprising of your everyday beauty blender and then weird household objects people are using instead…
The everyday beauty blender: I get how it could work, but I literally cannot MAKE IT WORK. I find they just smear my foundation around in patchy, uneven splodges, and I feel like a total numpty smashing a sponge all over my face. And do you wet them? Keep them dry? Should you use one that looks like an egg or one that looks like an aubergine? Why is the pink one better than the black one? I legit don’t get it. Someone help. What’s wrong with a stippling brush?
And then there’s the freakshow of YouTubers applying their DoubleWear with a used condom or a dirty sock, and I just don’t know what to think. Why tho? What is the point? I just can’t even. Honestly.
However hard I try (and, listen kids: I try really hard at the highlighting game) I just can’t seem to get that unicorn shimmer that everyone else does. I have two highlighters – the Illamasqua Beyond Powder, and the liquid Nars Illuminator – both bought because of the rave reviews, and hope that the hefty price tag would be worth it (spoiler alert: it’s not). The Illamasqua lasts about five minutes on my skin before disappearing – but makes me look like Twilight on acid in said five minutes – and the Nars makes my foundation muddy and streaky. I either end up sparkling like the sun, or with white streaks on my cheeks. How do people do this? Help me.
Not Using Setting Powder
I. CANNOT. UNDERSTAND. PEOPLE. NOT. SETTING. THEIR. MAKEUP. The number of YouTube videos I’ve watched where beauty vloggers slather on the foundation, contour, bake under the eyes (if you’re lucky) and then go on their merry way – I actually don’t get it. My face gets so greasy that I have to use a setting powder first, and then bake on top, before powder contour – I do whatever I can to calm that oil-slick down. I can’t understand having tacky foundation on your face – what if you try on clothes? What if you touch your chin? Ew.
Instagram Baddie Fleeky Eyebrows
I have Googled this about a zillion times, and the conclusion I have is this: to acheive fleeky brows, you have to have NO EYEBROWS to start with. Because they look like cartoon brows, and I cannot get that vibe with my bushy monstrosities and a half-dried-out pot of Dipbrow. Honestly – if you’ve got big brows, is there any hope? How do they go from looking mediocre to that weird ombre that looks like Photoshop? Ugh.
And Talking of Eyebrows…
People who do their eyebrows and eye makeup first, then their base. I’ll just leave that there.