13 REASONS WHY I’M A RUBBISH GIRLFRIEND

Oh hey, Valentine’s day; it seems like only yesterday I was filled with bitterness that no mysterious admirer had sent me a £500 bouquet of roses and a puppy. This time around, I’ve got a lovely boyfriend (who probably won’t buy me a £500 bouquet of roses, or a puppy, but that’s neither here nor there) and it got me thinking: am I a good girlfriend?  Do I warrant a puppy? Conclusion – no. Let’s take a look at the facts, shall we…

blouse: zara (similar)

Okay, firstly – the Valentine’s Day hypocrisy. I haven’t bought my boyfriend anything (because, in my head, Valentine’s Day is a pointless non-holiday) – but I still kind of want him to buy me something. Even though, over chicken dippers and potato waffles the other evening (did I mention that we’re extremely sophisticated?), he asked me if I was 100% sure that we weren’t doing anything for Valentine’s Day and I, of course, said yes, secretly hoping I’d be surprised with a pair of Jimmy Choos. (There’s still time.)

And then, there’s my girlfriend selfishness. I have zero time for compromise, and demand my own way 24/7. What are watching on TV? KUWTK – I don’t care that football is on. What are we having for dinner? Well, actually – that one I can never really decide on, which is probably yet another flaw: my indecisiveness. Especially when it comes to picking restaurants, weirdly, which drives him up the wall. (Soz.)

Then it has to be my messiness: like I’ve mentioned here, I’m not particularly dirty – but I’m an untidy little demon. I will literally drop my clothes on the floor and walk away, which (surprisingly) seems to annoy everyone. Oh, and not putting the towel on the radiator properly – apparently, stuffing it down the back and not folding it neatly makes living with me a near-impossible task.

And then, there’s all those little things that, if it were the other way around, would drive me mad: using his legs to heat up my freezing feet when we’re in bed. Always forgetting to buy the cream soda he likes (VOM) and only stocking up on my diet lemonade. Making him get me a drink when we’re drifting off to sleep, even though I’m closer to the door. Rearranging the letter candles to say L&D, not D&L, when he’s not here. Getting makeup on ALL OF HIS CLOTHES if he gives me a cuddle. Punching him if he snores at night, but throwing a hissy fit if he does the same to me (not that I ever snore. Obvs). Using matches and then putting the burnt-out ones back in the box, rather than throwing them away. Leaving my shoes all around the apartment -except for in the dressing room, where they belong. You get the picture, right?

So maybe, this Valentine’s Day, I don’t really deserve a huge bouquet of roses for being the perfect girlfriend – but, in a way, I think all my stupid annoying imperfections actually show how much I’m stupidly, madly, Ryan-Gosling-in-The-Notebook in heart emojis about him. Because, surely, if you’re not comfortable to show the person you love your flaws, are you really in love?*

So have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, chicas; and, instead of buying gifts this year, show your significant other how much you love them – by forgetting to turn the washing machine on and not taking the bins out. Ahh, romance.

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* Am I using this as a thinly-veiled excuse? Probably.

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3 thoughts on “13 REASONS WHY I’M A RUBBISH GIRLFRIEND

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