38 WORRIES

I worry A LOT. Like, imagine the most someone could worry – then multiply it by ten. I am a serial fretter, and I’m a bit clammy around the edges with uneasiness 90% of the time; being inside my head would legit tire you out. No joke.

I saw someone do a post like this recently – a sort of ‘things I worry about throughout the day’ ramble – and was literally nodding along to the majority of the points: so I decided to do my own. Because what’s a little neurosis between friends?

duster jacket: river island | body: boohoo | skirt: river island | shoes: new look

1. Have I slept through my alarm? What time is it? Am I late?

2. It’s so dark in here – am I even doing my makeup correctly? Is this the wrong foundation? Am I going to go to work looking like a panda? (Probably).

3. Does this outfit make me look fat? (Probably).

4. Do I need to walk anywhere far today, because I want to wear my new shoes and what if they pinch and I’m crippled and I’ll just wear trainers instead.

5. Why didn’t I make lunch for work? Now I’ll spend twenty quid on a limp salad and fantasise about donuts all day.

6. Am I late? What if there’s traffic?

7. I’ve just looked at my lipliner in the rearview and I literally look like the Joker. Why is it on my chin?

8. There’s SO. MUCH. TRAFFIC. I’m going to get fired.

9. WHERE SHALL I PARK? WHY IS THERE NOWHERE TO PARK?

10. I think I’m late.

11. Am I sweaty from running to the office? I can feel my hair frizzing. Like, right now. Frizzing away.

12. Will I be fired if I don’t reply to all these emails in time?

13. Should I be drinking this much coffee before midday?

14. I’ve got a headache – Web MD says that’s a brain tumour, so I guess I’m going to die today.

15. Will people think I’m weird if I go to the bathroom twice in two hours? What if someone’s watching me and judging me for my bathroom breaks? Although I guess that makes them weird, not me. Or does it?

16. Should I get a salad for lunch or this MASSIVE SANDWICH that’ll probably tip me into the obesity bracket on a BMI scale?

17. So I chose the sandwich annnnnnnnnnd now I’m probably in the obesity bracket on the BMI scale. I’m so gross. I knew this outfit made me look fat.

18. I should go to the gym more. Is it normal to get this out of breath walking up the stairs?

19. If I leave bang on time to go home, will I get fired?

20. What if my boyfriend has stolen my parking space?

21. Is breaking the speed limit to beat your boyfriend back to the parking space a punishable offence by law?

22. What shall I cook for dinner? Should I eat more vegetables? Do sweet potato chips prevent scurvy or not?

23. If I order a Dominos, will I go into my overdraft? (Probably).

24. WHY AM I SO POOR?

25. I should probably spend this evening tidying the flat. Or going to the gym. Or prepping meals for the week. But instead I’m going to sit here watching Friends reruns, so that means I’ll probably die at 35 from a horrifying laziness-related disease.

26. Do I buy £300 worth of clothes from ASOS? Or shall I wait until payday?

27. If I go to bed now, I’ll have to get up in 9 hours.

28. Should I read more books instead of watching TV all night?

29. Do I REALLY have to wash my hair? Because it takes a zillion hours to dry and I’m tired.

30. If I’m only 23, do I need to moisturize before bed? What’s the point? It just makes my fake tan streaky, let’s be real.

31. I should probably go to bed.

32. Why aren’t I in bed? I’ll be SO TIRED tomorrow.

33. Did I lock the door?

34. If my boyfriend is asleep so can’t check the door’s locked, does that mean he doesn’t love me any more?

35. Will I ever get married? What if I don’t have enough friends to make up a bridal party? Oh God, I’m such a loser.

36. Will I ever move house, because that rattling noise the window makes when it’s windy is so annoying. And sounds like someone is trying to break in. If someone did break in, would I even be able to defend myself?

37. GO. TO. SLEEP.

38. I’m going to be so late tomorrow.

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