SMELLS

When I was at university, the girl that lived in the room next to me cornered me in the kitchen. She told me she knew when I’d been in the corridor because of the smell of perfume, and it gave her a headache because it was so scented. ‘It’s so strong,’ she whined. ‘Can you wear something less heavy?’

Surprisingly, we’re no longer acquainted. I love perfume – absolutely adore it, and would bathe in it if I could. I have hundreds of bottles of the stuff littering my dressing table, with a scent for every mood and event and season – but I still have some go-to favourites.

JEAN PAUL GAULTIER CLASSIQUE INTENSE

I was sprayed with a sample of this in the Sephora in Paris, and absolutely fell in love with it immediately. It’s one of my most heady and strong scents, so I spray this sparingly; it lasts on fabric for ages, and it’s still lingering on all my winter scarves.

PRADA CANDY

Some say this is sickly sweet – but I disagree. It’s sugary and girly and utterly feminine, and I love wearing this in the summertime. It doesn’t last that long on me, so I have to pair it with the body lotion which is equally as scrummy – with the main note being a rich burnt caramel, this fragrance smells like cake batter. Nom.

TRISH MCEVOY SEXY 9

I bought this for the very first time in New York, about a zillion years ago, when Trish McEvoy wasn’t particularly popular in the UK: now it’s in Harvey Nichols, which is a Godsend for me (shipping costs, yo). Sexy 9 smells like blackberries and vanilla musk, and is intense but fruity all at the same time.

VIVIENNE WESTWOOD NAUGHTY ALICE

This perfume smells like baby powder. Genuinely, it’s so utterly lovely. However, the real winner is the body lotion, which is absolutely gorge – if you can, get yourself a gift pack so you can try both.

JIMMY CHOO EXOTIC

Another fruity little number, Jimmy Choo Exotic is waaaay nicer than the original EDP. I like to take this one on holibobs, because it smells like a cocktail that would have sparklers and an umbrella in…

BRITNEY SPEARS CURIOUS

No judging: this is legit one of my favourite smells ever. It’s tacky and the bottle is that perfect mixture of pretty and disgusting (plastic heart charms for the win), but the actual scent is warm and musky and sweet. Plus it’s always in sale in TK Maxx for under a tenner, so it’s a win-win, really…

THIERRY MUGLER ALIEN

Oh hi: I’m a basic bitch that wears Alien. I reserve this seriously (SERIOUSLY) strong perfume for nights out, because it is a little cliché; it’s got those instantly recognisable notes of jasmine and amber that I can’t help but love.

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