WHY I’M NOT A SLUT FOR BEING ON TINDER

I don’t really tend to do ranty, rambly posts on my blog; to be honest, there’s a time and place for that, and I don’t really feel like it’s my little corner of the internet where shoes are king. However, I’ve had a pretty rubbish week – I’d go even as far as to say a crap week – because I was called a slut for being on Tinder. Which, frankly, isn’t fair.

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A quick bit of a backstory here: sadly, before Christmas, The Boyfriend and I broke up. It was rubbish and pants and a bit flat for a while, but I have great friends and a cracking job, so I feel good; all shiny and bright, which is really unlike me. Purely for the giggles, I downloaded Tinder whilst out on a girls’ night, and have spent many a humorous ten minutes frantically swiping yes for ‘Peter, 45, three kids and a Staffie’ with pals over a couple of Cosmos.

Tinder is weird. I still don’t quite understand what I’m doing with it, and for someone like me with massive insecurities, the thought of being judged on my appearance makes me throw up into my nose a little bit. However, I’m 22, I’m single, and I’m allowed to do what I like, when I like – so why not?

I’ve been on some seriously strange dates thanks to Tinder; there was Chin, who bought me a Dominos and gin, who sends me random emojis on Snapchat; Shorts, who did my laundry; Average Joe, who looked after me whilst I was seriously hungover and stroked my hair like I was a cat; Posh James, who told me all about his sexual conquests and (somewhat terrifying) exploits within thirty minutes of meeting me; and Mysterious Mark, who forgot to mention he was 5″6, so looked somewhat dwarfed when I turned up to our date in 6 inch heels. They’re a merry bunch, and I thoroughly enjoy telling the girls about the weird and wonderful world of Tinder over lunch – with literally no shame whatsoever.

So when I received a (seriously rubbish, y’all) message, telling me I was – to paraphrase – a big slut for using Tinder so soon after a break up, I felt somewhat peeved. Actually, scrap that – I felt pissed off. Riled. Radgy.

Just in case there’s any confusion: girls can do what they want. Girls can frankly do who they want (sorry, Mum), when they want; whether you’ve gone on fifty dates, five dates, slept with a rugby team or are saving yourself, it’s your choice. My friend Hollie likes to give me pep talks about ‘staying safe’, which, whilst they make me cringe, are totally true; be sensible. Be safe. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. And nobody should judge you for it.

Getting a message like that isn’t nice, and for a few days afterwards, made me feel pretty low. I don’t consider myself a slut on any level: I think I’m strong, I think I’m independent, and I think I’m far too mouthy for my own good, but I’m not a slut. No girl deserves to be told she’s a slut for enjoying herself, or meeting new people, or having new experiences – it’s grossly unfair, misjudged…and a seriously dickish move. No-one – this is to both men and women – should deem another a slut because they don’t have a life partner and 2.4 children. Don’t sass me.

The moral of the story? Swipe right, and be happy. Enjoy your twenties, and whether that’s by dating, having some time on your own, or being in a committed relationship, do it your way – and don’t judge for the way someone else chooses to enjoy theirs.

Basically: don’t be a knob. It’s not nice.

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8 thoughts on “WHY I’M NOT A SLUT FOR BEING ON TINDER

  1. Gal I love this!! I’m not on Tinder but I think it’s great that if you have a good date you’ve got a bae, if you have a crap one then at least you’ve got a fabulous story to tell- why would anyone be ashamed of that? People are so unnecessarily judgy (they’re just jealous because you’re beaut) xo Loves
    http://halfgirlhalfteacup.com

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  2. Don’t listen to them!! That is so silly, you are not a slut. I popped up to someone on tinder because i knew they knew people I know, we have been speaking for 3 months now and are together.. Don’t worry about what people think xxx

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