THE MAN-REPELLING JEANS

I’ve found the ugliest pair of jeans ever. However, they’re inexplicably comfortable. If this isn’t a fashion catch-22, what is?

I’m always on the hunt for a pair of high-waisted jeans that I don’t hate, which, given I despise the lower half of my body, is a bit of a struggle. I need a pair that are snug on the legs and bum, but relaxed across the hips – to hide the parts of me that need hiding – and that’s just never going to happen with skinnies, or even boyfriend leg styles. So enter the man-repelling jeans from Asos White; wider-leg cropped denim with a drop crotch and (slightly too) high waist, which are as comfy as trackies but make me look like a oompa-loompa. Do I care, though? Not in these jeans.

jeans: asos white | bodysuit: boohoo

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WHAT MOVING HOUSE HAS TAUGHT ME

If you follow me on social media (probably not), you may be aware – unless you live under a rock, or my posts have fallen victim to the BLOODY INSTAGRAM ALGORITHM – that I’ve moved house. Finally. FINALLY, I’m free from living in the middle of nowhere, up four flights of stairs, with neighbours who stink out the communal areas with their questionable body odour. (Sorry, Number 15.)

Not going to lie: I thought moving house would basically be a doddle. Easy peasy. A whirlwind of Pinterest boards and copper accessories and eating pizza on the floor of an empty living room, loving life. And was it? LOL NO! If you can’t be bothered reading this post, I’ll give you a spoiler alert: it sucked. I hated every moment of moving house with every fibre of my being, and, frankly, I don’t think I’m being dramatic. Here’s why.

t-shirt: LOTD

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BALENCIAGA BOOTS DUPE

Because I live and breathe everything related to the Kardashians – let’s call it morbid fascination – ever since I saw Kylie Jenner wearing those thigh-high, monochrome-grid Balenciaga boots, I wanted a pair all of my very own. However, because I can barely afford to turn the hot water on once a week, they were definitely not going to make their way into my wardrobe: so these (pretty good) Missguided dupes had to do instead. (PS: bonus points if you can spot the label of my dress peeking out. I suck at outfit pictures, honestly.)

boots: missguided | dress: asos | jacket: asos men | sunglasses: asos

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*CLIPHAIR DOUBLE WEFTED EXTENSIONS REVIEW

I’m a big fan of fakery. If I had my way – and unlimited funds – I’d pretty much get everything ‘done’, all at once, Heidi Montag style…

My glow-up has (so far) included lip fillers, fake tan, hair dye, false nails, and, of course, hair extensions. Whilst I’ve toyed for years with having professional extensions done, I looooove being able to rip out my clip-ins after a long day and scrag up my hair into a homeless-chic bun (gross), so I’m always looking for new hair extension brands to try. I recently toned my blonde ombre, which mean that my old honey-blonde extensions were a little off-colour – so when ClipHair offered to pop me over some new strands in the post, I was like OH YEAH BABY…

I’ve tried A LOT of hair extensions in my time; I’ve found that clip-ins are my preferred method of insertion (ooh-er), and that with the thickness of my hair, single wefts just won’t cut it – I need double, triple or even quad wefted pieces. The ideal length (seriously, this is turning into filth) is 18 inches for me, as my hair is blunt at the ends, so any longer and I start veering dangerously into blocky, step-hem territory; plus, finding the right colour for my hair – which has been legit ruined with years of dying, toning and bleaching – is the ultimate challenge. So would ClipHair meet all my expectations?

extensions: cliphair double wefted set, 18 inches, medium ash brown

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*DINNER AT THE WORSLEY PARK MARRIOTT HOTEL & COUNTRY CLUB

If you know me well – or, let’s be real, just at all – you’ll know that I’m a big fan of food. Food in general. All food. But especially nice food, in pretty restaurants; so when I was invited for dinner at Worsley Park Marriott Hotel & Country Club, I was 100% going to attend.

book a table here

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